How homo/transphobic are you?

This week saw the Oscars and the world’s most famous lesbian Ellen DeGeneres took to the stage to host this prestigious award ceremony. However Ellen made a faux pas and called Liza Minnelli a “drag queen, an impersonator and sir”. Although Ellen was probably alluding to the fact Liza looked a ’little different’ (New dress? New purse? ) from normal, the gag backfired. Tweets accusing transphobia followed but these were counteracted with “Ellen’s a lesbian, she can’t be transphobic!”

So can we, the LGBT community, be phobic to ourselves?

It’s weird, because about a week ago I probably was. There is a guy who works in my building who is “obviously gay”. What does “obviously gay” mean? Well, he does dress flamboyantly; he is very theatrical and throws some mean jazz hands when talking. On the day in question, he had a new hairstyle, which kind of finished off his overall look. I found myself chuckling and then instantly corrected myself. Surely me (internally) mocking someone about how gay they looked was wrong!

I’ll admit I felt a little ashamed.

It might have been that I was actually jealous of his hair. With the nic ‘thatbaldguyMK, my days of being “worth it” are over. My hair has sadly spread to my chest, shoulders, back and chin and last week, on twitter, I posted that I was contemplating going beard-free for the first time in about 10 years. This caused uproar! Why? Because beards are seen as manly and as gay men we must not look camp!

Around this time, Ellen Page came out as gay and a couple of straight people I know commented that it was “nice that a feminine lesbian had come out”. All they saw was, long hair = feminine. Roll forward to the Oscars and there was Ellen Page in her tuxedo and lots of tweets about her “lezzing it up”. Another point that made me ponder was reading an article on ‘femme lesbians’, although I could totally see it’s hard for a ‘girlie girl’ not to be seen as a ‘fag hag’ when socialising on the scene, and that not every ‘lipstick lesbian’ wants to drape themselves in a rainbow flag when they go out to maximise visibility, the article was quite harsh about gay women who looked like ‘dykes’.

So have we become a community that is blacklisting ‘camp’ men and ‘butch’ women as well as hinting at transphobia?  Are we readily doing to one another what some narrow minded heterosexuals do to us?  Should we be more aware?

The word ‘community’ is often overused and the spectrum of LGBT people is broad and that should be something that is celebrated and respected and we need to ensure that we don’t start that criticism from within.

I have to say Liza Minelli did look very different tho……

ThatbaldguyMK

TV’s Lesbian Ladies…

Over the past decade there have been some great lesbian couples shown on mainstream UK and US television. This is a list of some of my favourites, sorry for any that I have missed!

Spoilers Alert!
If you haven’t seen the shows and don’t want to know happens then probably best not to read.

Emily and Niomi
I had stubbornly refused to watch Skins because I thought I was too old to watch teenagers getting drunk, taking drugs and having sex. I was grossly wrong. The series is well written; fluctuating seamlessly from very funny to angst-ridden, this program is definitely worth a watch. Emily Fitch (Kathryn Prescott) and Niomi Campbell’s (Lily Loveless) journey from acquaintances that just have some underlining sexual chemistry, to a relationship is not entirely smooth; the writers successfully show the problems that lesbian relationships come up against, including Niomi’s initial denial and Emily having to move out of her family home.

Kim and Saint
Sugar Rush was another fantastic Channel 4 series which deals with teenagers coming to terms with their sexuality and lesbian relationships. Unfortunately the show was ended after two series, but in that time there were some great storylines and lesbian action. The gorgeous Kim Daniels (Olivia Hallinan), moved to Brighton with her interesting (and charmingly dysfunctional) family and falls in love with her best friend Sugar (Lenora Crichlow). In the end, after much confusion and heartbreak with Sugar, Kim has a relationship with Saint (Sarah-Jane Potts). Their relationship is pretty turbulent (mainly due to the drama caused by Sugar being released from prison) but by the end of the show the couple move in together (with Sugar in tow) and it appears to be setting up for a third series… which unfortunately never came along.

Tara and Willow
The makers of Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s decision to make Willow (Alyson Hanngian) a lesbian was possibly one of the best choices the show ever made. There were inferences from very early in the program that Willow was going to be gay, which made her eventual relationship with Tara (Amber Benson) not seem strange or a “phase” that would only last for one season. The couple had a huge lesbian following and was probably the first lesbian couple I had ever seen in a television series.

Willow and Kennedy
Although Tara’s death made a lot of fans extremely angry (including myself) the show did try to redeem itself by giving Willow a new love interest in the form of feisty potential slayer Kennedy (Iyari Limon). Personally, I didn’t have a problem with her, I loved her passion and watered-down Faith-like attitude… not to mention that she was extremely attractive. Although their relationship only lasted for one season (the episode ‘The Killer in Me’ is still one of my favorite episodes ever) at the end of Buffy both women are still alive, together and riding off into the sunset in a yellow school bus. Very romantic.

Callie and Erica
The relationship between Calliope Torres (Sara Ramirez) and Erica Hahn (Brooke Smith) blossomed organically out of a friendship, prior to which both women had only been interested in men. The storyline had the potential to be offensive and could have been similar to the ‘lesbian coming out and going back in’ story arcs as seen in Kissing Jessica Stein and Sex and the City but the writers managed to pull it out of the bag. Lesbian audiences warmed to the new couple and Dr Hahn’s speedy departure from the show, left fans anger in a way that was reminiscent of Tara’s death in Buffy.

Callie and Arizona
After Hahn’s speedy exit from the show, it seemed as though Grey’s Anatomy had opted away from the lesbian drama and I was convinced that Callie would return to men. However, I was ecstatic when the stunning pediatric Surgeon Arizona Robbins (Jessica Capshaw), makes her feelings for Callie known in the toilet of a bar. I wasn’t a huge fan of the relationship between Hahn and Callie, so I had no problems accepting Arizona as Callie’s new girlfriend. Although the new couple had a rough ride throughout series 6, their reunion in the finale (and what a finale it was!) was brilliant. Again in series 7 they had a tough time with Arizona leaving and Callie getting pregnant by Mark in her absence; they now seem to have achieved marital bliss and an inspiring approach to parenting.

Bette and Tina
The L Word was probably the most important lesbian television show to hit TV screens. It followed the lives of beautiful, funny, intellectual and over-sexed women in Los Angeles and was a worldwide success. Bette Porter (Jennifer Beals) and Tina Kennard (Laurel Holloman) were the title couple of the show, having been together from the beginning. The audience followed the ups and downs of their relationship, from affairs, a miscarriage, a law suit and a child, but by the end of series 6 they get the happy ending we all predicted would happen.

Alice and Dana
Alice Pieszecki (Leisha Hailey) and Dana Fairbanks (Erin Daniels) are best friends at the beginning of The L Word, and at the end of the first series, we get to see (in my opinion) one of the sweetest TV moments when Alice knocks on Dana’s front door in the early hours of the morning. I think this couple is such a favorite because they are awkward, funny, romantic and sexy.

Nikki and Helen
Bad Girls couple Nikki Wade (Mandana Jones) and Helen Stewart (Simone Lahbib) were such a great couple because there were so many obstacles in the way of their relationship. Helen was straight, in a relationship with a man and the prison Wing Governor, whereas Nikki was a lesbian and a prisoner. The relationship has many ups and downs, but eventually the couple were reunited with Nikki’s release from prison. Who could forget that romantic kiss in the street!

Santana and Brittany
Any lesbian Glee fans were probably jumping up and down in their seats when the hit TV show decided to explore the blatant sexual tension between the super hot cheerleaders Brittany S Pierce (Heather Morris) and Santana Lopez (Naya Rivera). The road to a harmonious relationship was by no means smooth, with roadblocks such as Santana being outed in a public video and acquiring a ‘beard’ boyfriend to hide her sexual preferences, but eventually in series 3 the couple hooked up officially.

Have your own favourite couple? Comment below!

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